my dad and i had real time today. he got the newspaper and showed me the summer classes for DVC at the san ramon campus. "i just want to keeeeep you here in a tiny little bubble". then he laughed...then i laughed. he's joking, im sure. but it would be nice to take the last few classes i need in san ramon. it will save my gas bill that is through the roooooof this semester. yikes. i need to finish my applications. i need to finish this history broadcast test before midnight. i need to pass my math test on monday. i need to get off work for an hour on tuesday so i dont miss my counseling appointment. i will cry if i miss that. seriously...waterworks on ashleys face. okay enough whining. my mom is MIA for the weekend. i hope she has a good time. she deserves it. im going to go play in the sun. catch ya.
1. phonetap confessions - the A'z
2. heard em say - adam levine & kanye west
3. hurt me soul - lupe fiasco
4. silly puddy - zion I
5. get it girl - keri hilson
6. cash flow - ace ft tpain
7. my beautiful rescue - this providence
8. when i get home, youre so dead - mayday parade
9. skyway avenue - we the kings
10. so much love - the rocket summer
11. sun - daphne loves derby
12. insurance - the higher
13. check yes juliet - we the kings
14. the booty song - the A'z
thats the weekend anthem. its kiiind of the silliest song ive every put on here. but it makes me laugh and ill claim it.
"im ice, kick rocks im done"
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
081. Well this is fun.
Happiness is:
- sunshine 4 days in a row.
- new music.
- old music.
- sandwiches with turkey.
- pepperjack cheese.
- usher.
- black history month.
- poetry.
- people who speak well.
- new white t-shirts.
- money in the bank.
- driving someone elses nice car.
- no traffic.
- passing tests with A's.
- green.
- history of broadcast communications.
- parrots.
- cooper when he likes me.
- christmas time.
- the week before my birthday.
- shorts.
- fresh vans.
- tan skin.
- good hair days.
- my sidekick.
- captain crunch.
- make ups after fighting.
- dressing nice just because.
- when people laugh at my jokes.
- drinking water.
- dancing in the car.
- food network.
- syesha mercado.
- going MIA sometimes.
- spending days with darcie.
- payday.
- people watching.
- sabra johnson.
- slurpees.
- singing everything i say.
- levis.
- alameda.
- nikes.
- my ipod.
- rubberbands.
- my clean room.
- disneyland.
- franklin.
- asking questions.
- reading a good book.
- quoting movie lines.
- softball.
- surprises.
- night views.
- the tyra banks show --- im kidding.
- greeting taylor when she walks through the door.
- missing someone and then seeing them.
- cheeto hot fries.
- saying "fickie fickie" and pretending to dj.
- laughing.
- spontaneous days.
- sleeping in.
- on the border.
- kaitlynn.
- jumping jacks.
- and life...duh.
i forgot about 100394899009.9 million things im sure. ill be adding to this list. but its a start. stop reading this and go play in the sun right nowwww. =]
- sunshine 4 days in a row.
- new music.
- old music.
- sandwiches with turkey.
- pepperjack cheese.
- usher.
- black history month.
- poetry.
- people who speak well.
- new white t-shirts.
- money in the bank.
- driving someone elses nice car.
- no traffic.
- passing tests with A's.
- green.
- history of broadcast communications.
- parrots.
- cooper when he likes me.
- christmas time.
- the week before my birthday.
- shorts.
- fresh vans.
- tan skin.
- good hair days.
- my sidekick.
- captain crunch.
- make ups after fighting.
- dressing nice just because.
- when people laugh at my jokes.
- drinking water.
- dancing in the car.
- food network.
- syesha mercado.
- going MIA sometimes.
- spending days with darcie.
- payday.
- people watching.
- sabra johnson.
- slurpees.
- singing everything i say.
- levis.
- alameda.
- nikes.
- my ipod.
- rubberbands.
- my clean room.
- disneyland.
- franklin.
- asking questions.
- reading a good book.
- quoting movie lines.
- softball.
- surprises.
- night views.
- the tyra banks show --- im kidding.
- greeting taylor when she walks through the door.
- missing someone and then seeing them.
- cheeto hot fries.
- saying "fickie fickie" and pretending to dj.
- laughing.
- spontaneous days.
- sleeping in.
- on the border.
- kaitlynn.
- jumping jacks.
- and life...duh.
i forgot about 100394899009.9 million things im sure. ill be adding to this list. but its a start. stop reading this and go play in the sun right nowwww. =]
Monday, February 25, 2008
080. No more rain.
Welllp...for now.
I think I lost a friend today. I'm not sure. They may just be hiding though. I hope they come around. Seems like they could have been a swell addition to my life.
I wrote this little whimsical thing yesterday. Who knows.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how my heart has curved back into proper formation
and is now singing in exultation...
i would write those million words.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how relaxed youve made me
and saved me
from the repetition of the line everybody's the same
and made me want to start a brand new game...
i would write those million words.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how your smile lights up a room,
makes my heart go zoom makes 20 flowers up and bloom...
i would write those million words.
you see...
i rest on cloud nine
you send shivers down my spine
attatched to my brain
making my heart go insane
but my body so sane with no shame...no blame...
just me.
just you.
just us....as two.
im willing to take part
to kneel down at the start
and race to the finish with my heart.
because when two hearts race...
both win.
and this is something felt from within.
so...if i could write a million words to express how i feel about you...
i would.
but as of now i only have 198 words to express how i feel
to hopefully appeal to your heart and mind
with mine on the paper.
one million words...someday.
you look like those songs that ive heard my whole life coming true.
I think I lost a friend today. I'm not sure. They may just be hiding though. I hope they come around. Seems like they could have been a swell addition to my life.
I wrote this little whimsical thing yesterday. Who knows.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how my heart has curved back into proper formation
and is now singing in exultation...
i would write those million words.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how relaxed youve made me
and saved me
from the repetition of the line everybody's the same
and made me want to start a brand new game...
i would write those million words.
if i could write a million words to teach you
how your smile lights up a room,
makes my heart go zoom makes 20 flowers up and bloom...
i would write those million words.
you see...
i rest on cloud nine
you send shivers down my spine
attatched to my brain
making my heart go insane
but my body so sane with no shame...no blame...
just me.
just you.
just us....as two.
im willing to take part
to kneel down at the start
and race to the finish with my heart.
because when two hearts race...
both win.
and this is something felt from within.
so...if i could write a million words to express how i feel about you...
i would.
but as of now i only have 198 words to express how i feel
to hopefully appeal to your heart and mind
with mine on the paper.
one million words...someday.
you look like those songs that ive heard my whole life coming true.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
079. Things on the mind.
-I like my nails black. Darcie painted them as a kiss up for being unconsciously short with me. I forgave her for the silly mistake. She makes me smile. ILY.
-I like that taylor brings me lunch to work. Her and her cute zebra shoes brought me every cracker, rice crispy treat, and chocolate kiss the household can handle. Greaaat promotion for 24 hour fitness I'm sure.
-The rain needs to stop.
-I've found someone that makes me happy. We are random and fun. Believe it.
-I gave up drinking. I dont smoke weed. I dont pop. Heres why...I'm not a statistic.
-I dont like when people repeat themselves.
-I dont really understand 80s music except for michael jackson.
-Dont ask me to sing for you. The answer is...no?
-I would like to dye my hair black. Darcie?
-I dont like it when people bite my words. People start using "dope" or "whack" when they never have before. Either that or quoting weezy like they know it. Aaaaand they dont. Whooooops.
-Out of sight. Out of mind.
-Except for kaitlynn and dani. They are out of sight however...I love them. Come home okay thaaaanks.
-I'm happy. =] Very happy.
this song matters most right about now.
-I like that taylor brings me lunch to work. Her and her cute zebra shoes brought me every cracker, rice crispy treat, and chocolate kiss the household can handle. Greaaat promotion for 24 hour fitness I'm sure.
-The rain needs to stop.
-I've found someone that makes me happy. We are random and fun. Believe it.
-I gave up drinking. I dont smoke weed. I dont pop. Heres why...I'm not a statistic.
-I dont like when people repeat themselves.
-I dont really understand 80s music except for michael jackson.
-Dont ask me to sing for you. The answer is...no?
-I would like to dye my hair black. Darcie?
-I dont like it when people bite my words. People start using "dope" or "whack" when they never have before. Either that or quoting weezy like they know it. Aaaaand they dont. Whooooops.
-Out of sight. Out of mind.
-Except for kaitlynn and dani. They are out of sight however...I love them. Come home okay thaaaanks.
-I'm happy. =] Very happy.
this song matters most right about now.
Friday, February 22, 2008
078. American Idol.
I like that show. Not much else to say about it except I love that show aaand this season there are three important reasons why...
Reason #1:
Reason #2:
Reason #3:
It's safe to say that syesha is my wife. Thats it. Hands down.
I hope everyone had a nice week despite the rain. Hopefully spring shows up soon...I was enjoying the sunshine.
Reason #1:
Reason #2:
Reason #3:
It's safe to say that syesha is my wife. Thats it. Hands down.
I hope everyone had a nice week despite the rain. Hopefully spring shows up soon...I was enjoying the sunshine.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
077. I pull it from thin air.
Tell me...do I not feel? Do I not own and capture these things called feelings?
I do because they say I do...however...me? I get mine from another place. I choose to be comforted by objects that cannot seem to love me back. Material items that make me feel as though I'm on top of the world. And then it's back to basics. I'm free and alone with my one sided love story. A love story only me and my new kicks will know about. Because I refuse to let myself be loved. I'm so used to having objects with no brains share affection that I sit frozen when a warm blooded creature offers up their soul like a deal with the devil. I am not the devil. I'm hardly close and if I was...I still would not make anyone give away a soul. It's theirs to keep and I do not want it. I want no part of what they are trying to give me. A hand to hold. A shoulder to lean on. A kiss for my trained lips. I shutter. Even if I gave up building that wall I've come so far with...it would be far too expensive to tear down. I've hired workers already; the best kind in fact. The kind with strong, rough hands that place bricks up around my 5'4 self. Your daily drama does not interest me in the slightest. You see, levels of intellect stimulate my senses and take me on a ride all its own. I find solace in the pages that I read and therapy in the words that my mind fuses together. There is no time for stories of your lovers or pleading silently for my body to erupt with jealousy. If you keep trying, I stop trying. My mind works differently and is that bad? Possibly. I need to crave you. I need to crave every single bone in your body and miss you even when I feel your breath on my neck. And this cannot be forced or duplicated or represented in a manner that is conducive with a person such as yourself. So no. I shall stick to my single subject love affair with my accumulation of material because that, you misguided mess of chromosomes...is constant.
I do because they say I do...however...me? I get mine from another place. I choose to be comforted by objects that cannot seem to love me back. Material items that make me feel as though I'm on top of the world. And then it's back to basics. I'm free and alone with my one sided love story. A love story only me and my new kicks will know about. Because I refuse to let myself be loved. I'm so used to having objects with no brains share affection that I sit frozen when a warm blooded creature offers up their soul like a deal with the devil. I am not the devil. I'm hardly close and if I was...I still would not make anyone give away a soul. It's theirs to keep and I do not want it. I want no part of what they are trying to give me. A hand to hold. A shoulder to lean on. A kiss for my trained lips. I shutter. Even if I gave up building that wall I've come so far with...it would be far too expensive to tear down. I've hired workers already; the best kind in fact. The kind with strong, rough hands that place bricks up around my 5'4 self. Your daily drama does not interest me in the slightest. You see, levels of intellect stimulate my senses and take me on a ride all its own. I find solace in the pages that I read and therapy in the words that my mind fuses together. There is no time for stories of your lovers or pleading silently for my body to erupt with jealousy. If you keep trying, I stop trying. My mind works differently and is that bad? Possibly. I need to crave you. I need to crave every single bone in your body and miss you even when I feel your breath on my neck. And this cannot be forced or duplicated or represented in a manner that is conducive with a person such as yourself. So no. I shall stick to my single subject love affair with my accumulation of material because that, you misguided mess of chromosomes...is constant.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
076. Take your time up the mountain; the view isnt going anywhere.
Today I went on an expedition to Mt. Diablo. Darcie and Kaitlynn came along. It was a beautiful way to spend a Sunday. Wonderful weather, amazing views, good exercise, and the best company a girl could ask for.
kait got scared
we made it. =]
they looked at the map for 5 hours...
so i took pictures of my face. =]
we found the right trail!
darcie is dancing.
that guy was a beast.
first view...
kaitlynn is leaping for joy.
that was a dope little trail.
hahaha darcie.
the lone ranger part one.
tree frog.
kait was too scared to climb,
my turn!!
=]
my budddddy.
we found poisen oak...maybe not.
top of the world!
smaller top of the world.
these are my best friends.
its been a good weekend. tomorrow will be wonderful too. =]
kait got scared
we made it. =]
they looked at the map for 5 hours...
so i took pictures of my face. =]
we found the right trail!
darcie is dancing.
that guy was a beast.
first view...
kaitlynn is leaping for joy.
that was a dope little trail.
hahaha darcie.
the lone ranger part one.
tree frog.
kait was too scared to climb,
my turn!!
=]
my budddddy.
we found poisen oak...maybe not.
top of the world!
smaller top of the world.
these are my best friends.
its been a good weekend. tomorrow will be wonderful too. =]
Saturday, February 16, 2008
075. Because I feel as though you've been out of the loop.
Lately...besides school and work...I've been hanging out with kids like this...
And new kids...like this...
And missing..and thankful for...these ones...
Ohhh jdub and cassaud.
And new kids...like this...
And missing..and thankful for...these ones...
Ohhh jdub and cassaud.
Friday, February 15, 2008
074. King Floyd?
Totallllly diggin that dude. Icon status I'm pretty sure.
Valentine's Day was dope. I was quite the lucky girl. Victor spoiled meeee. Thank you superman. Balloons, 2 dozen roses, chocolates from new yorks, stuffed animals. It was fun. Darcie bought me a safeway sandwich and we had good life talks before she went to her game. Tasha snuck in there with a late valentines date in the kids club...always a good time. Thanks everyone for making the day special. I know its a hallmark holiday..nevertheless its always nice to feel special.
The weather is beautiful, I have the day off of work, I'm done with school until tuesday...its time for me to have some funnnn.
Playlist:
1. Groove me baby - King Floyd.
2. Grippin on my bed - Sean Garrett ft Ludacris.
3. Faded - Drake.
4. Two Step - Clyde Carsen.
5. Supa Sexy - Charlie Wilson ft Tpain.
6. Teach you a lesson - Robin Thicke.
7. Can we chill - Ne-yo.
8. She got it - 2 pistols ft Tpain.
9. Rock Bottom - Pleasure P ft Lil Wayne.
10. Whisper - Ernie Halter.
Valentine's Day was dope. I was quite the lucky girl. Victor spoiled meeee. Thank you superman. Balloons, 2 dozen roses, chocolates from new yorks, stuffed animals. It was fun. Darcie bought me a safeway sandwich and we had good life talks before she went to her game. Tasha snuck in there with a late valentines date in the kids club...always a good time. Thanks everyone for making the day special. I know its a hallmark holiday..nevertheless its always nice to feel special.
The weather is beautiful, I have the day off of work, I'm done with school until tuesday...its time for me to have some funnnn.
Playlist:
1. Groove me baby - King Floyd.
2. Grippin on my bed - Sean Garrett ft Ludacris.
3. Faded - Drake.
4. Two Step - Clyde Carsen.
5. Supa Sexy - Charlie Wilson ft Tpain.
6. Teach you a lesson - Robin Thicke.
7. Can we chill - Ne-yo.
8. She got it - 2 pistols ft Tpain.
9. Rock Bottom - Pleasure P ft Lil Wayne.
10. Whisper - Ernie Halter.
Monday, February 11, 2008
073. 4 on 14.
Back in november
A month I barely remember
I was asked a silly question.
And I didnt have to question
My answer to the question...
I said yes,
With no stress and with ease
And apparently that word seems to please
Knowing they were overseas and they would
Seize the 14th with vigor.
Maybe I pulled the "yes" trigger.
Because after this nodding of my head
Three more yes answers were said
Making me the busy body.
A song was written and I couldnt turn down a song
Not when I made the beat to go along
With the lyrics
I had hoped they would ask me
So I could be...theirs.
This next one came as quite the surprise
As I hardly realize they are hurting at this moment
And needing more attention creating far too much
Tension for the mind of a girl wonder
So I continue to wonder on how to fix the problem.
Not on the same page because they are topical
Not tropical, not going places but filling spaces
With words and an occasional phrase making this seem like a
Phase of time that I hardly have time for
And how did three turn into four?
It was when I aquired a tiny fish with the rhyme
I'm clemintine...I'm here to ask you to be my valentine.
And how could I say no to that it would have thrown them off track
But about to give me a heart attack.
Good good Lorrrd...
Guess I scored.
I wont be bored...on day 14.
Is this mean? or is it a dream come true?
Because I'm not being true to the few that asked me to be theirs
And not other people's...
I treat them not so equal
Putting two first and one second
Wait one second because its getting confusing
I'm sure aching for a bruising.
So I'm sorry if on day 14 I'm hiding or MIA
I just cant cause any more confusion for my day.
I wish I had just one...that would be fun...
But I have four.
A month I barely remember
I was asked a silly question.
And I didnt have to question
My answer to the question...
I said yes,
With no stress and with ease
And apparently that word seems to please
Knowing they were overseas and they would
Seize the 14th with vigor.
Maybe I pulled the "yes" trigger.
Because after this nodding of my head
Three more yes answers were said
Making me the busy body.
A song was written and I couldnt turn down a song
Not when I made the beat to go along
With the lyrics
I had hoped they would ask me
So I could be...theirs.
This next one came as quite the surprise
As I hardly realize they are hurting at this moment
And needing more attention creating far too much
Tension for the mind of a girl wonder
So I continue to wonder on how to fix the problem.
Not on the same page because they are topical
Not tropical, not going places but filling spaces
With words and an occasional phrase making this seem like a
Phase of time that I hardly have time for
And how did three turn into four?
It was when I aquired a tiny fish with the rhyme
I'm clemintine...I'm here to ask you to be my valentine.
And how could I say no to that it would have thrown them off track
But about to give me a heart attack.
Good good Lorrrd...
Guess I scored.
I wont be bored...on day 14.
Is this mean? or is it a dream come true?
Because I'm not being true to the few that asked me to be theirs
And not other people's...
I treat them not so equal
Putting two first and one second
Wait one second because its getting confusing
I'm sure aching for a bruising.
So I'm sorry if on day 14 I'm hiding or MIA
I just cant cause any more confusion for my day.
I wish I had just one...that would be fun...
But I have four.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
072. Twin Sandwich.
This weekend turned out to be a ton of fun. Hit up a basketball game, saw the most amazing veiw of life, and got to see my sister, my lover, and my good friends. I have some really really good people in my life. I have come to realize that all of the people that I keep around in my life are amazing for me. I am one lucky girl. I truly am.
=]
loverrr and my darcie.
haha she liked kaits camera.
tasha is sneaky with the candids.
a real twin sandwich!
me and my kitty the kat. =]
=]
loverrr and my darcie.
haha she liked kaits camera.
tasha is sneaky with the candids.
a real twin sandwich!
me and my kitty the kat. =]
Saturday, February 9, 2008
071. And all the dinosaurs said hello.
=] Here's the thing...
I'm in love. Here's why...
becauseshesingslikethaaaat.
I'm off to kaitlynn's. I'll take pictures. Hooray. I'll have a playlist when I get back.
I'm in love. Here's why...
becauseshesingslikethaaaat.
I'm off to kaitlynn's. I'll take pictures. Hooray. I'll have a playlist when I get back.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
070. I like all this president talk.
Did you vote? Good. Vote or die.
I'm very very down with voting. Here's why. It's important. More important than you, more important than me. Its a collection of an effort. Will you make a difference? Yes you will. But not if you don't vote. And please please dont play that card about how one person cant make any difference. It's the principal of the thing.
Speaking on presidents...I like them. I really really do. Possibly not the current one. However he is a man just like all other men. So I will not judge him on the quality of his manhood. I can however judge him on the quality of his performance in his job. Sometimes I feel like he gets cheated. Yes...I may not agree with a lot of things and decisions he has made. However...if we really stop and think about it, there are a lot of poor workers out there. There are a lot of poor workers out there that have under the radar jobs and do not get blasted like the president. If my job was on blast and on the news and radio everyday...people would judge me too. Cant hate a man I've never met. I'll stand by that statement. I like lincoln. Its his birthday tomorrow and I am soo down with him because that means that DVC is giving me a day of rest. Thanks lincoln...thanks dvc...thanks lincoln's mom and dad. =]
Enough about presidents.
Justina and I had amazing sushi tonight. I wish I would bring my camera to more places. I wanted to take pictures of the dope food and dope art and dope people in the restaraunt. Nevertheless I had a wonderful time eating sushi and conversating about useful topics.
Can I find someone who believes they are a good time sober? I'm too through with people who start a conversation with, "oh my god...i sing only when im drunk." "ohhh i only do that drunk." How abouuut...I meet a person who is comfortable enough to be a bold person without alcohol. Also, I'd like to meet another soul who has the depth level that is 10 times deeper than a kiddie pool. That would be cool. Maybe someone who likes bread more than me (preeetty hard to do), and maybe someone who likes shoes and would be willing to let me buy them cool sneakers once in a while. I'm good for it, swear.
This just got fun...rambling about someone I want. Almost like a wish list except its nowhere near christmas and still 3 months til my birthday. Haha I can dig it either way.
so much soleeee.
I'm very very down with voting. Here's why. It's important. More important than you, more important than me. Its a collection of an effort. Will you make a difference? Yes you will. But not if you don't vote. And please please dont play that card about how one person cant make any difference. It's the principal of the thing.
Speaking on presidents...I like them. I really really do. Possibly not the current one. However he is a man just like all other men. So I will not judge him on the quality of his manhood. I can however judge him on the quality of his performance in his job. Sometimes I feel like he gets cheated. Yes...I may not agree with a lot of things and decisions he has made. However...if we really stop and think about it, there are a lot of poor workers out there. There are a lot of poor workers out there that have under the radar jobs and do not get blasted like the president. If my job was on blast and on the news and radio everyday...people would judge me too. Cant hate a man I've never met. I'll stand by that statement. I like lincoln. Its his birthday tomorrow and I am soo down with him because that means that DVC is giving me a day of rest. Thanks lincoln...thanks dvc...thanks lincoln's mom and dad. =]
Enough about presidents.
Justina and I had amazing sushi tonight. I wish I would bring my camera to more places. I wanted to take pictures of the dope food and dope art and dope people in the restaraunt. Nevertheless I had a wonderful time eating sushi and conversating about useful topics.
Can I find someone who believes they are a good time sober? I'm too through with people who start a conversation with, "oh my god...i sing only when im drunk." "ohhh i only do that drunk." How abouuut...I meet a person who is comfortable enough to be a bold person without alcohol. Also, I'd like to meet another soul who has the depth level that is 10 times deeper than a kiddie pool. That would be cool. Maybe someone who likes bread more than me (preeetty hard to do), and maybe someone who likes shoes and would be willing to let me buy them cool sneakers once in a while. I'm good for it, swear.
This just got fun...rambling about someone I want. Almost like a wish list except its nowhere near christmas and still 3 months til my birthday. Haha I can dig it either way.
so much soleeee.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
069. The name game.
A few months ago I was at my grandmas with a bunch of family members and yetti. I cant recall why or how, but my mind wandered and I started laughing uncontrolably. What if everyone had the letter "J" in front of their name? Okay...its a lot more lame when I say it now. But say it outloud. "Jashley" "Jaitlynn" "Jaylor" "Jichael" hahahaha. My favorite was "Jabrina". It was the hit of the day. My sister came up to me after I got home last night and reminded me of that day. I started busting up. Good times.
Its ash wednesday. The start of Lent. I'm not really sure what I'm giving up this year. I've always done something, but I give myself a few days to decide and back out and delve in. I dont believe that the quality of myself during Lent is determined by what I give up for 40 days. I wish I had time to get to church today. I had class this morning so I missed mass. I have work at 4...so I will miss mass. I feel like my Jesus piece needs a facelift.
Can I find someone who likes to dance. Someone who likes to dance sober. Someone who can dance sober. Someone who is fresh to death and is not afraid to be fresh to death with me. I want someone to teach me how to want to be with them. Then again...you cant really teach that.
With all these entries with "can i find someone" making me sound like my personal dating hotline. Sike.
Jabrina and company.
Its ash wednesday. The start of Lent. I'm not really sure what I'm giving up this year. I've always done something, but I give myself a few days to decide and back out and delve in. I dont believe that the quality of myself during Lent is determined by what I give up for 40 days. I wish I had time to get to church today. I had class this morning so I missed mass. I have work at 4...so I will miss mass. I feel like my Jesus piece needs a facelift.
Can I find someone who likes to dance. Someone who likes to dance sober. Someone who can dance sober. Someone who is fresh to death and is not afraid to be fresh to death with me. I want someone to teach me how to want to be with them. Then again...you cant really teach that.
With all these entries with "can i find someone" making me sound like my personal dating hotline. Sike.
Jabrina and company.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
068. I won't hang.
i dont know how monkeys do it.
they must have some real strong arms...
to hang.
monkeys just swing all day with no real rhyme or way
they just sway back and forth
like a swing on a front porch.
and that does it too!
how does it do..all that?
swinging up to back
with pressures from behinds and heavy people all the time;
numerous people all relying on that bench
it must clench every screw in its dimention
to pay attention to holding together for these people.
what drive, what determination a porch swing has...
to hang.
an ornament is good too
with its thin piece of string merely to sling
over a tree branch.
it holds on for only a month but thats more than ive got.
id say i just forgot and then drop.
how forgiving an ornament can be all happy and care free just...
to hang.
a necklace rests in peace upon a chest not afraid to touch the heart.
it never has a place to start
merely because the chain knows it will not end
so it pretends to be everlasting.
shiny and bold ready to show the world what it has to offer
and never come off her...or him
or them.
a necklace is too precocious to be afraid...
to hang.
i could hang. if i wanted, i could hang.
its not like im even feeling ready to fly
im barely scraping the sky
even if i was i have no problems with heights so i dont know why...
im not willing to hang.
swing on.
sway on.
hold on.
i wont hang.
bout to grab fiiire for this one.
they must have some real strong arms...
to hang.
monkeys just swing all day with no real rhyme or way
they just sway back and forth
like a swing on a front porch.
and that does it too!
how does it do..all that?
swinging up to back
with pressures from behinds and heavy people all the time;
numerous people all relying on that bench
it must clench every screw in its dimention
to pay attention to holding together for these people.
what drive, what determination a porch swing has...
to hang.
an ornament is good too
with its thin piece of string merely to sling
over a tree branch.
it holds on for only a month but thats more than ive got.
id say i just forgot and then drop.
how forgiving an ornament can be all happy and care free just...
to hang.
a necklace rests in peace upon a chest not afraid to touch the heart.
it never has a place to start
merely because the chain knows it will not end
so it pretends to be everlasting.
shiny and bold ready to show the world what it has to offer
and never come off her...or him
or them.
a necklace is too precocious to be afraid...
to hang.
i could hang. if i wanted, i could hang.
its not like im even feeling ready to fly
im barely scraping the sky
even if i was i have no problems with heights so i dont know why...
im not willing to hang.
swing on.
sway on.
hold on.
i wont hang.
bout to grab fiiire for this one.
Monday, February 4, 2008
067. Talk is cheap.
That is why we hear so much of it.
Silence is golden. Try it sometime.
Im sick. With the flu. I'm not sure how. I just got over a cold that I had lingering for over a month. Now the flu? No ones really doing that. I'm too stressed...and yet...today was a beautiful day. I ended up only going to math class. I skipped my other classes because I couldnt sit through those. I needed math though so I mustered up enough energy, took my water with me, and off to the review session I went. Math went wonderfully and I was able to get most of my questions answered. The day was absolutely beautiful outside. Made me really miss spring time. Last spring to be more exact. My very first semester at DVC was last spring. I remember the beginning of softball season. The weather was perfect, glove was on my hand, good teamates surrounded. I think this is the very first day I've actually missed softball. I've thought about it tons...but never really took the time to miss it because I had so many other things going. But I'm here now...and I miss it. I'm still not regretting my decision, no. However...I am starting to get that itch to get back out there. Once I feel better I'll drag darcie out and play some catch. I'm good for it. Anyways...it was a nice day outside. As soon as I got home from school it started getting windy and cold again. Good timing for me. Back to math studying for me. I need this flu to go away.
The point is not to say so much...but say so little that one remembers precisely how you said it. The inflection of your voice, the hand movements with the words, and the facial expressions with each and every drawn out syllable. Without emotion, words are just...words.
And can I please find someone who knows, understands, and uses the differences between there, their, they're...your, you're, and are, our. Please.
Silence is golden. Try it sometime.
Im sick. With the flu. I'm not sure how. I just got over a cold that I had lingering for over a month. Now the flu? No ones really doing that. I'm too stressed...and yet...today was a beautiful day. I ended up only going to math class. I skipped my other classes because I couldnt sit through those. I needed math though so I mustered up enough energy, took my water with me, and off to the review session I went. Math went wonderfully and I was able to get most of my questions answered. The day was absolutely beautiful outside. Made me really miss spring time. Last spring to be more exact. My very first semester at DVC was last spring. I remember the beginning of softball season. The weather was perfect, glove was on my hand, good teamates surrounded. I think this is the very first day I've actually missed softball. I've thought about it tons...but never really took the time to miss it because I had so many other things going. But I'm here now...and I miss it. I'm still not regretting my decision, no. However...I am starting to get that itch to get back out there. Once I feel better I'll drag darcie out and play some catch. I'm good for it. Anyways...it was a nice day outside. As soon as I got home from school it started getting windy and cold again. Good timing for me. Back to math studying for me. I need this flu to go away.
The point is not to say so much...but say so little that one remembers precisely how you said it. The inflection of your voice, the hand movements with the words, and the facial expressions with each and every drawn out syllable. Without emotion, words are just...words.
And can I please find someone who knows, understands, and uses the differences between there, their, they're...your, you're, and are, our. Please.
Friday, February 1, 2008
066. Badadadaaa.
1. Brand New - Lyfe Jennings ft Lil Wayne.
2. My Valentine - Lloyd.
3. Rock Bottom - Pleasure P ft Lil Wayne.
4. Livin' a Lie - The Dream ft Rihanna.
5. She's Like a Star - Taio Cruz.
6. Mama - The Dream.
7. Daylight - Aesop Rock.
8. Near to you - A Fine Frenzy.
9. I love your girl - The Dream.
10. Falsetto - The Dream.
I'm probably going out on a limb here when I say that The Dream is the man of the week. Found out he wrote Umbrella and Bed. Now he's doing his own thing and making amazing beats and songs. Soo dope.
=] but youre still the same old youuu.
aaand...funniest things on earth at this moment.
2. My Valentine - Lloyd.
3. Rock Bottom - Pleasure P ft Lil Wayne.
4. Livin' a Lie - The Dream ft Rihanna.
5. She's Like a Star - Taio Cruz.
6. Mama - The Dream.
7. Daylight - Aesop Rock.
8. Near to you - A Fine Frenzy.
9. I love your girl - The Dream.
10. Falsetto - The Dream.
I'm probably going out on a limb here when I say that The Dream is the man of the week. Found out he wrote Umbrella and Bed. Now he's doing his own thing and making amazing beats and songs. Soo dope.
=] but youre still the same old youuu.
aaand...funniest things on earth at this moment.
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