190. a one, a two, a one two three fouuur...

somethin' like that. =]

189. Any day that starts with the word "happy"

means you have to act that way.
- my father



haha that was the quote of the day yesterday. It was a happy day yesterday...to say the very least. To say the very most I'd need more of a platform and a longer time period to write this blog in. Thanksgiving was a success. You all know how I feel about family...my family in particular, so I won't go into the sappiness of it all right now. It was a good day though. Found out the entire DeGrano clan will be together on Christmas. People flying from all over to meet at the mothership (grandmas house) and enjoy each other's company. That hasn't happened since I was...very very small. Should be one of the best Christmas' yet. Speaking of Christmas, anyone playing music yet? I'll get a few blogs up here with some playlists you can blast around in your room. Meanwhile, I suppose I haven't done one of theeeese in a while...here you go. Trying to tie in with all of the small things I'm thankful for.

Happiness is...

- sweaters.
- telling jokes to kaitlynn via telephone.
- rain when i can stay inside.
- lunches compliments of gma.
- the quarter dwindling down.
- having the highest grades ive had since...wow..
- playing the trumpet.
- listening to taylor play the piano.
- captain crunch.
- turkey and mashed potatoes.
- wine.
- watching kaitlynn take more wine...more wine...more wine..
- watching my mother watch kaitlynn take more wine...more wine...more wine..
- family.
- going to the movies.
- clean rooms.
- clean cars.
- clean houses.
- house slippers.
- cookies.
- mr pickles.
- having text convos with my dad.
- any pie.
- pumpkin pie.
- having only 2 finals out of 4 classes.
- being done with one of those classes already.
- driving.
- taylor swift.
- getting sent song lyrics in a text.
- gatorade.
- making a short christmas list.
- realizing im better with what i have right now.
- christmas music.
- finally being able to sing it.
- scarves.
- peasant because his hair is long.
- blackberry.
- green.
- grey.
- yellow.
- kaitlynn almost taking night time cold meds at 11 AM.
- chelsie hightower (you thought i forgot huh)
- writing a term paper on dani.
- burberry.
- sweats.
- sweatshirts.
- comfort.
- viva la vida.
- gabe bondoc.
- violin.
- taylor.
- getting to where i want to be.
- not shopping on black friday.
- shopping...tomorrow.
- money in the bank.
- shawty whatchu drank?
- seeing leaves on lawns.
- san ramon during the holidays.
- movie night tonight.
- old navy.
- good books.
- good looks.
- pictures that i took.
- someone stealing my heart like a crook.
- keeping it safe in a nook.
- getting excited like someone took me and just...shook.
- hallaaaaa word surgeon.
- days escalating.





=] peace and blessings ya'll...count yours...you've got many.

188. Going to try and make sense of this.

Again, very sorry for lagging so heavily on these posts. I'm here now. Ready?


Poetry. It's kinda my thing. It's one of the only ways I feel I can let emotion escape through me...to another. It works as an exit. I tried writing songs once...but most of those came out sounding like commercial jingles...go figure. Sooo I stuck with rhythm through speech. With that said...I haven't written a poem in about a month or so. To tell you the truth, most of my poems revolve around relationships. There have been many writings that I've produced that have to do with the world, myself, changes, problems, so on and so forth. But for the heavy majority...I write about my heart. I write when it's lifted, I write when it sinks, I write when it's lost, I write when I've found it in another's hands...you get the idea.

Here's the thing. Those poems...the ones I wrote for the moment, were a way to justify who I was with. It was almost as if I was bringing a cement block in and solidifying my reasons for even being with them in the first place. In reality, if those words were all I gave them...those words conjured up for the simple fact of exacerbating myself to try and pull emotion...when I was next to them...it was superficial. Lately...I'm away from a person...or next to a person...and it's different. I'm speechless. I'm wordless. I'm filled with emotion that no one deserves to feel because it's too rich. I'm full of feelings for the very first time. I'm not trying to justify. I'm letting it...justify itself...merely by...existing. I can't box this in like I could with everything else. I don't want to. But I do wish to keep it close to me. I'm inspired. I'm too inspired. I pick up a pen and smile because theres just no reason. The reason is to just be. My reason...is found.






With all that said...I don't want you to think that I'm bashing my poems. I also don't want you to think I'm bashing any of those people who I wrote the poems for. I'm merely explaining a situation that has me doing...or in this case not doing...what I usually do. I am in fact in the process of writing something. It's taking me a while. It won't have a beginning. It won't have an end. There will be no start and no finish. There will be no box for it to sit in. The poetry will come. I suppose before I was pretty concerned with poetry first...and I figured if the poetry came then the feelings would follow. It sounds a little twisted. But hey...I figured it out. I'm glad I did...












Thanksgiving is a few days away. I'll try and post before then. For now I'll leave you with a song. One of my favorite songs sung by two incredibly talented human beings. I'm stuck on Guy Sebastian I tell ya. If you listen to the words it will most definitely lift you up.










Peace, Blessings, and Optimism. =]

187. Whatchu know about it?

Oh..that's right. You don't know about it. Now you do.

186. Celine Dion...

So the Celine Dion concert got cancelled for this weekend. Kaitlynn cried and I cried....for her. However...the concert is reappearing on Feb. 20th and best believe Kaitlynn, Dani, and myself will be in the nosebleed section hearing the horn blowwww. Magic I tell you...magic. ;)


Another short little post I knowww I knoww I'm lagging I do apologize. Home girl started to get busy and apparently won't be slowing down for quite a while. If I have some extra time this weekend I will hit ya with a little something insightful.




For Kaitlynn because I love her and I am very sorry she can't see Celine this weekend. Soon enough boo. =]










I'm not even about to lie...I'm feeling this song. Go ahead...laugh...but I'm gonna put it on repeat. =]

185. Update.

Yikes. Sorry it's been a while. Things are hectic and crazy and beautiful.

I've been...

schooling it, schooling it, schooling it, driving it, concerting it, dating it, family...ing it?, being fly..it..ehhh this is hard..

I've been swamped to say the least. But it's a nice swamp. The kind of swamp where I'm not minding getting muddy and wet because there are green frogs and turtles at my feet and the sunrise and sunsets are gorgeous making everything okay. Yeah...right where I wanna be.

In upcoming blogs I will tap into the concert (definitely up on top 5 things I've experienced), give some new music away (I came across weezy's new mixtape and might have found kanyes album...you don't have that yet.), a thanksgiving blog much like last years with pictures and wisdom and fun, and possibly talk about what has a girl like me changing her mind about the cynicism of the world.








For now...I have to depart and finish up some work. I hope everyone has been feeling blessed and real lately. Good vibes all around. Thanksgiving is next week people and I KNOW I am not the only one excited for it. =]





And because he is quite good at what he does...those darn Aussies..I wanna go back..

184. A swift kick...

I was feeling very brown today...



I like days off. I get to do things like be a fly by night, do a little aimless shopping for face wash and hanes shirts, and see old pals and stomping grounds.


Oh...best of all? I get to buy things like the Taylor Swift cd.

Country isn't my thing normally but I have my favorites. Carrie and Taylor are quickly becoming my leading ladies.

Ever pop in a cd and for just a few minutes feel like everything is just...that good? It doesn't matter what's playing...the point is...that it is playing. For me, some of these songs make me believe that there are still a few good song writers out there that believe in feelings rather than sexual frustration, drinks at the bar, or a fine girl walking by. She's telling a story. Her story. I suppose I related because that's what I do in most of my writings. I write for myself. Ergo...I write for you. You've been there. I incorporate you because it's easy to do so. Makes you enjoy what I do. So...with that said..go pick up Taylor Swift's cd. It makes me believe in music. These past few months music has really stepped its game up. John Legend aaand Taylor Swift with the truth. Can't get any better than that.







Makes me remember everything I once lost and inevitable truths that shouldn't be fought. Pretty powerful stuff.

183. I reaaally should be reading...

about relational communication.

I'm not.

So here here here.

Happiness is..
- headbands.
- my financial aid going through.
- me beating heads to get that financial aid.
- my northface backpack that holds up during rain.
- not being sick anymore.
- coldbusters from jamba.
- v8 fusion.
- the blackberry going 2 days with no charge.
- demi lovato.
- winter quarter sign ups going smoothly.
- getting all the classes i needed.
- being excited about those classes.
- thanksgiving being weeks away.
- only having 4 more classes of my tuesday thursday days.
- road trips with a co-pilot.
- making kaitlynn happy.
- loving dani for eternity.
- real talks with dani and marti.
- hot cheetos as a gift. knows the way to my heart apparentlyy.
- babysitting quentin.
- having quentin love flashlights as much as i do.
- playing with flashlights on the wall.
- wanting a new cow drawn on my wall. anyone up for it?
- passing all my midterms with B's and above.
- halla at straight A's.
- driving.
- rapping while driving.
- old navy sweaters.
- corduroy pants.
- pumas.
- carrie underwood being a week away.
- celine being two weeks away..wait what?
- hacky sack.
- good morning texts.
- my big bed.
- relational communication dialogues.
- writing a bomb news article.
- election talk.
- oprah and her loud voice.
- a new cd made just for me not by me.
- youtube and the countless hours it distracts me.
- singing "do i have a girlfriend? technically no. if you'll be my girlfriend, then i'll make it so. you'll be my only true lover. no competition no other." to dani and kait 50 million times.
- them telling me to shutup cause i'll wake everyone up.
- not waking anyone up because of it.
- they loved it.
- j saying she didnt hear me singing it to save me.
- her really hearing me.
- popcorn.
- naps.
- good dreams.
- having tuesday off.
- the new blackberry bold.
- the new blackberry storm.
- burts bees.
- making random friends in the library.
- seeing old friends on campus.
- realizing i have a lot of sweatshirts.
- realizing most of them i never bought.
- ed hardy.
- saying things like "i got 99 problems but..."
- my laptop.
- my wireless connection when it says excellent.
- rice.
- knowing it fell into place how it was supposed to.
- my blackberry case.
- becoming speechless.




Oh how fun that is.



Currently listening to:















Anything and everything by this dude. Ya'll should already know that though. I stay with this guy.



""I see you find that funny...I'd love to buy you a drink but I got bent and spent my money
But would you kindly accept a rain check? Perhaps some deep chit-chat?"
She didn't think twice nodded her head and said "I'm with that."
"By the way, you got some matches?"
She's like "No, but theres a lighter right in front of you."
And now we're both gigglin', this girls so crazy got my gullet jigglin'
Fiddlin' with my feelings like an out of tune piano-
Like I'm on Ritalin, the way she got my undivided attention
dissmissin' any thoughts of letting this one get away."

182. It's been a momentous November.

Two days ago we chose a new president. Some believe that we have been choosing a new president for quite some time now. I was lucky enough to be a part of this election. I am now lucky enough to say that my first presidential election is the most historic election that has ever taken place in the United States of America. I am a proud person. Proud in numerous ways. I'm proud of myself for getting out there and voting. I'm proud of our country for coming together and realizing that a change is necessary. I'm proud of Obama. I do believe that he has his work cut out for him. I also believe that us as a country cannot sit back now that this election is over and watch Obama try and fix the mess that was created. We must continue to fight. We must continue to come together and work for a change. Obama says "yes WE can", not "yes I can". He's talking to you. Realize that. Sitting in front of the television watching Obama give his speech makes shivers run down my spine even now. The words that he said were not just for the people that voted for him. His words were for every single person...no matter who they were...no matter where they were. What we have to realize is that this is bigger than all of us. I was raised in a home where I truly was able to conceive and believe in the actual idea of an African American becoming president. I was raised to believe in working for the betterment of myself and others. Giving up is never an option. Not believing is never an option. This whole election truly opened my eyes and made me realize that in America, we really can do anything. Possibilities are endless as to what we can achieve if we are passionate about movement and progress. For the first time in a long time I have so much hope in America. There is light out there. Let's continue to make the movement. Be that change. Create that change.

On a different note, Prop 8 passed. I'd just like to point out that it passed by a very slim margin. I know that for many of you out there, it doesn't matter what margin it was passed by because it still means that equality has not shined and been raised up. The way I look at it is this. We as a state have passed gay marriage once before...we can do it again. Even better...we will do it again. Equality is a struggle. But equality is this struggle that has been ongoing since the dawn of days. I'm not making an excuse for it so please do not misinterpret what I'm trying to get across. Instead of focusing on the fact that it passed...focus on what we as a state did accomplish. Prop 8 passed by four points. Four points people. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a year ago, Prop 8 would have passed by a much larger margin. I'm going to go out on a further limb and tell you that four years ago, it would have passed by an overwhelming margin. So look there...if you still have doubts about what our state has accomplished. We are moving in the right direction. Not everyone is going to agree. That's sort of the beauty of choice and voting and having a voice out there. This will make the struggle that much more powerful. Love is love folks. In the end no one can take that away from you. Just remember that. No one can take away your feelings, your passion, and your love. Those things are unexplainable. Those things are what make fighting for something you believe in worth it in the first place. Keep on keepin' on. The day will come.



Bottom line...all I know, is I want to live for a living. Waking up each morning believing in someone or something- now that is life. As I've gotten more accustomed to the lifestyle of enjoying what I have and what I do each and everyday, these past few mornings I've seen a new ray of sun that I thought was a little lost. I'm glad it's back...it's about time.






"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
-Barack Obama






















Grant Park. November 4, 2008.

181. My Interpretation

It's the sequel to Britney Spears' song..

Get it? My perogative...eh?..eh...very bad joke. It's Monday, what do you expect from a sister. ;)



Five weeks left until my first quarter of my third year in college is complete. Time flies. Literally...I see wings. I'm finally starting to see the horizon where the finish line is for this whole school thing. Its far away...but at least there is something in the distance that is believable in reaching if I power through it. It's a very cool feeling. It's paying off.




As I'm growing...as years are passing...I'm realizing that it's less about who you meet at the institution..and more about what you learn. I'm not speaking about inside a classroom (although that is the point). I'm speaking about what you learn around you. What you learn in those years when you finally start to share a purpose...share a goal...with other people who have similar ones. I say this from a transfers point of view. Attending three different schools is not the norm...I get that. I think it's supposed to be this way though. I'll tell you this...I've learned more in these two-going on two and a half years in college than I have at any other time in my life. It's all about growth. My best friend is the person who shared a bedroom with me until I was 16 years old. My best friend is someone who I met at a tryout for a softball team. My best friend is a person who I met at a park...through a friend. None of those people did I meet at school. For that...it really does make me believe in something a little greater. I'm not sure if fate is the word. Possibly just...a happening...a glance in time. I'm living proof that you will find the greatest people in your life...when you aren't looking. The people that love me every single day...without fail...without contingencies...without grudges...those are the people that I am most thankful for. I was done with having 20 best friends and 50,000 acquaintances when I was 18. I grew up. I learned who mattered. People who can't stick around...don't deserve me anyway. Am I upset that I didn't learn this sooner? No way. Time. Time. Time. Time heals wounds. Time conjures up the meeting spots. Time is an essential mechanism for people to pull it together. I wouldn't have understood this paragraph at 16. I wouldn't have written a paragraph like this at 17. Hell, I would have laughed at this when I was 18. I'm 20...going on 21...and I applaud this paragraph. Who won? Oh...you're correct...I did. And I couldn't be happier.









I raved about the John Legend cd before having it. Now I will rave about the John Legend cd while it sits here on my desk. It's amazing. It's teaching me a lot. Many of the songs are about relationships...the normal...break up to make up to break up songs. A few really stick out for me though. I suppose it's all in how he writes his lyrics. Dripping with passion and purpose, he delivers something that can only be felt if you have been there. Cool thing about the songs...everyone has been there. One stood out to me. It's a duet between him and Brandy. Another little secret, growing up Brandy was my number one favorite artist. I had everything of hers. Shes making a comeback lately and I do believe that John Legend was genius to put her on a track. It was a smart move on both their parts. The song is called "Quickly". It's a love song...but a twisted one. The purpose for the song in my eyes is to explain how this world is making people care less about what is actually real. "Quickly" is trying to make a statement about how we love each other as human beings. At the rate the world is going at...love is a disappearing agent. It's hard to find, and even harder to hold onto. They both beg each other to love "quickly" for the simple fact that they see what is going on in the world. It's a powerful statement. Where is love? How often is it misinterpreted? Too many people come together in a relationship and use love because it feels forced. Although this song talks about loving quickly...it does not give off the impression of a false love. They are simply begging for something real in a world that is so unreal. The irony in the song is not to "love quickly" in the sense that you wake up, find a potential lover, and fall in love. Love quickly simply means don't be blind to a potential. Don't let the agents of restriction make true feelings fall short. Love conquers a lot more than you think. I suppose it makes all the sense in the world. Love...but don't love under false pretenses. Feel...and feel with your soul. Time is not promised to anyone. Love big. Love strong. Love real. Love quickly.






The news said.


If I had twenty million dollars in a vault somewhere baby,
It wouldn’t matter anyway
Cause the doctor told me that I’m dying slowly
So I guess I got to love you while I’m here baby
Did you know

The news said the sky is falling, the globe is warming
My country warring, leaders are lying, time is running
Lower and lower baby
No where to go...


I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I… want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly.


You said you didn’t even know my name, but
Told me we mind as well make ours the same
What do you think baby (no time)
Think it might as well be light years away, oh
We just better land on the stars before they come crashing down cause I heard the news...


The news said the sky is falling, the globe is warming
My country warring, leaders are lying, time is running
Lower and lower baby
No where to go...


I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

Yea that’s right baby kiss me like the world is quaking
Do it like the earth is shaking
You got it baby, that’s right lovely
Fill me like our time is sprinting faster running out of time


I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly


You barely know me baby but you gotta love me quickly, quickly
you gotta love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

Oh you gotta love me, you gotta love me
Love me like you know the world is about to end .. love me
Quickly now
The news said the sky is falling...quickly now
Love me, love me.










Have a good one ya'll. Spread the love.