215. 21 in T minus...

ehhhh like 9 hours. =]

I share a birthday. I've always shared a birthday. I've never felt what it feels to have a day solely to myself. Then again, when you think about it...everyone shares a birthday with someone. Whether that person be your best friend (by coincidence), a neighbor down the street, or a stranger halfway across the globe...we share days. I am fortunate enough to have my special day be with someone who has always been close to me...literally, figuratively, lalala. My twin...Kaitlynn...shares my birthday. It's kind of a cool concept really. When we were younger it meant double the presents, double the cake, and double the birthday song (and lets be honest...who doesn't like that birthday song...especially at that high note towards the end that no one can ever seem to hit..but sung in unison it creates a beautiful melody that erupts in joyous harmony). I digress...getting older was fun as well. I'd wish Kaitlynn a happy birthday and know that she would wish it right back to me. I often run around the house screaming for an entire minute starting at 10:51 PM and ending at the start of 10:52 PM...for I am, in that minute, older than Kaitlynn. For example, at 10:51 PM tomorrow...I will be 21...and Kaitlynn will be 20...if we are doing things logistically that is. Following my pattern...I will be 21. Yes, 21...legal. Starting tomorrow I can legally buy alcohol for the little kids down the street. Notice how I said can...as in choice...as in I will NOT be partaking in that act (although the concept seems so thrilling to me in slighted manner). For the first time in 21 years...I won't be spending my actual birthday with Kaitlynn. I guess that means no double presents, no double cake, and no double birthday song. I like being nostalgic and remembering birthdays with Kaitlynn because I'm not quite sure I'm ready to have one without her. The day will move and as soon as I see her Saturday all will be forgotten until the following year...but I'll still miss it.

What I'm truly getting at here is that I am lucky. I am lucky to share a birthday with someone who knows me better than anyone. So while tomorrow, for the first time, I will celebrate my birthday without Kaitlynn...giving me a true taste of a day solely to myself, I will still be thinking of it as her birthday...our birthday. It's kind of fun to wish someone else Happy Birthday on your actual birthday. So with that said, Happy Birthday Kaitlynn. Tomorrow I will miss you, but I am ever thankful and blessed to share my...our very special day.

214. ....

Someone called me the luckiest...girl...in the world.
I told them to hold up
slow up
blow up
back up
and understand that although luck has come my way this day
it hasn't always been so fruitful, if you will.
But I will- take advantage of this situation
I've chosen to write right words after much deliberation.
The sun comes through my window and I breathe the sigh of relief
as it's in my belief to understand that I have the whole world..in my arms.
There you are lying on my shoulder
as I am the blanket when your world becomes colder
hoping silently that this can still be a portrait as we get older.
And I want to let you know that if my life were a book
you would be my favorite chapter
and I would not give a damn about the pages that came before or after...or
the authors note in the beginning
which would have me singing
your favorite song
in melodies that have never been heard because
when I'm with you I feel feelings that have never been felt
causing my insides to begin to melt
and my heart feeling a tad sappy and-
I once promised that sappiness was only for the trees
but a sudden light breeze has me questioning why I ever
gave that right only to the forests-
for us...is something so sappy in the air
that even "being green" cant honestly compare.
So I stay with being blue.
And not being blue in the sense that I'm sad-
being blue in the sense that if you had to pick your favorite color
that's the one you would grab
and I would want you to be with me so..
I pick blue.
And if I had to run around the world twice to show my dedication
I would do it three times without any hesitation,
rush back into your arms after
and recite the longest dissertation on how everything I just witnessed
three times around this earth...
couldn't compare to anything that I know you are worth.
Look, I think you're wonderful and I'm so blessed to stand with you
I wish I had the courage to say everything I planned to.
I speak in front of hundreds having conversations that are new
about feelings, emotions, relationships and act like they already knew.
I then come home look in your eyes, get lost, and hundreds turn to two-
turn to you- my favorite who- I speak about to the hundreds.
Just know that even when I get nervous-
hundreds are just strangers
who read and listen and endanger
their ears and eyes for some poor sap who needs an audience.
But you..
you are my night sky and all the stars that fill it.
You are the street lamps that guide my way home so well lit.
You are the sunny days, the actual sun rays,
and the lemonade that cools the heat down on those hot summer days.
You are the inspiration to the poem-
the one that I call home,
resting on my shoulder as my once hard body turns to foam.
Once more I look out my window as the day is welcomed through-
just know you're everything I ever meant to say...
I find myself...through you.

213. Mean it.

You Belong To Me - Jason Wade

212. Where I need to be.

"Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers. You can fill your life up with ideas and still go home lonely. All you really have that really matters are feelings. That's what music is to me." - Janis Joplin






Aloha and Happy Friday. Airborne is the new water. First week of school was a success. My birthday is in 20 days. I turn 21. Coldstone is in my near future. I want to skateboard around the house. Aloha.