188. Going to try and make sense of this.

Again, very sorry for lagging so heavily on these posts. I'm here now. Ready?


Poetry. It's kinda my thing. It's one of the only ways I feel I can let emotion escape through me...to another. It works as an exit. I tried writing songs once...but most of those came out sounding like commercial jingles...go figure. Sooo I stuck with rhythm through speech. With that said...I haven't written a poem in about a month or so. To tell you the truth, most of my poems revolve around relationships. There have been many writings that I've produced that have to do with the world, myself, changes, problems, so on and so forth. But for the heavy majority...I write about my heart. I write when it's lifted, I write when it sinks, I write when it's lost, I write when I've found it in another's hands...you get the idea.

Here's the thing. Those poems...the ones I wrote for the moment, were a way to justify who I was with. It was almost as if I was bringing a cement block in and solidifying my reasons for even being with them in the first place. In reality, if those words were all I gave them...those words conjured up for the simple fact of exacerbating myself to try and pull emotion...when I was next to them...it was superficial. Lately...I'm away from a person...or next to a person...and it's different. I'm speechless. I'm wordless. I'm filled with emotion that no one deserves to feel because it's too rich. I'm full of feelings for the very first time. I'm not trying to justify. I'm letting it...justify itself...merely by...existing. I can't box this in like I could with everything else. I don't want to. But I do wish to keep it close to me. I'm inspired. I'm too inspired. I pick up a pen and smile because theres just no reason. The reason is to just be. My reason...is found.






With all that said...I don't want you to think that I'm bashing my poems. I also don't want you to think I'm bashing any of those people who I wrote the poems for. I'm merely explaining a situation that has me doing...or in this case not doing...what I usually do. I am in fact in the process of writing something. It's taking me a while. It won't have a beginning. It won't have an end. There will be no start and no finish. There will be no box for it to sit in. The poetry will come. I suppose before I was pretty concerned with poetry first...and I figured if the poetry came then the feelings would follow. It sounds a little twisted. But hey...I figured it out. I'm glad I did...












Thanksgiving is a few days away. I'll try and post before then. For now I'll leave you with a song. One of my favorite songs sung by two incredibly talented human beings. I'm stuck on Guy Sebastian I tell ya. If you listen to the words it will most definitely lift you up.










Peace, Blessings, and Optimism. =]