055. Life has moved.

If someone were to ask me if I pictured myself here a year ago, the answer would be a quick no. The quick no would be followed by a long silence. A silence from me not knowing how to answer the question further. I only answer that question for myself.

A year ago, if someone asked me where I thought I would be, I'd have absolutely no words. I would obviously imagine myself still playing softball, still taking slow classes, still lost. However life and its ways have moved me along as if a tiny leaf in a wind storm. I flail about not knowing what's next. This storm has finally ceased and I am in a calm of reality. Life has not gotten easier. It has, in fact, become much more difficult in my persuit to find "Ashley" again; whatever that means. I no longer have that slippery grip on my handlebars and if all goes smoothly, (I say this with little confidence because of past circumstances) I am on a straight and narrow for what lies ahead. Tomorrow I start what should hopefully be my last full semester at DVC. This excites me and scares me all at the same time. I've been able to trudge along with my classes making GE units disappear and my smile reappear. I've become more confident in telling people that I have figured out what I want to do after DVC and what I will be trying to accomplish in the near future.

I have little contact with old friends. I have little contact with sonoma state. I have little contact with the 2006-2007 year. As I see it...I've lived through it...and taken about as much as I could possibly take out of it. The start of 08 has put me n a place of comfort. I'm excited for what is to come. Its going to fly by. It's going to pass over and I must remember not to let it pass ME over. I am in control of my days, my weeks, my months, my life.

Im no longer just holding on for the ride. I'm conducting the entire process of progress.