139. On the wall.

No one ever told me it was going to be this difficult. When someone told me to be strong I didn't even believe they deserved an answer. I am strong. I am strong.

I am weak.

I miss you...more than I myself can even believe. I've never missed someone. I just realized this now that I've never had that feeling of missing. I think there are two different definitions of missing someone. One definition of missing someone is simple. It is generic. It is lovely. It is being so happy to see the person again and know that the time will come and that it is so very easy to say you miss them. I don't overuse this phrase but some people do. The missing that I am feeling deep down inside right now is so brand new to me that I'm not even sure if I've gotten down to the very pit of it...or if I'm still in the state of figuring out the full effect. My heartbeat is irregular and has finally noticed your vacancy. I wish you could be here. It wishes you could be here too. You were always good at making it become a symphony outside my body with the backbeat of a heartbeat...my heartbeat...our heartbeats. I miss you. I hope you miss me too. I really really hope you miss me because...I miss you. I just told the world I never overuse this phrase...I'm about to become a hypocrite.