145. Just so you know...

I'm...no good at this.
But I'll try to put something on the table.
How about we make this a pot luck
so my luck can be compared to what everyone else brings?
No, I still don't wear rings.
Unless they slip off but people scoff at my excuse
because of the abuse I'll cause myself if I can never commit
but..just so you know...I haven't quit.
Not in the slightest and you still shine the brightest
because I can see you!
People say you're long ways away from where you were
I'm here in the sun and all you say is brrr
with your cold new passion
to pass on to the world saving us, me...from harm.
But..just so you know...I'll sound the alarm
for my love to go off
because I believe you're thinking of me just as I think of you
so we can't be through...really.
Just so you know...I spoke to God about this.
He slapped me on my knuckles and said tisk
"let her do her work" he said
as I laid my heavy body upon my hard bed
and then with a smirk that turned into a smile
he continued "the plan of forever is not for a while"
I thanked him for hope...just so you know
and if you could see me now you'd be impressed with how I grow.
Not taller in stature but taller to capture the beauty of blessings;
the beauty of days.
Not walking through a haze it is clear I am here
and just so you know I still call you dear
and my new obsession is trying not to hear.
For the deafness is calming and my body is embalming with
memories and new found ease that my own thoughts are more powerful then the chatter
of the platter of words being presented by unprecedented sources.

I still enjoy bananas.
I still hate raviolis.
I still clean my car 10 times a day,
and anyway in my mind this is going fine
and I'm not sure it matters but I've been passing the time,
so I suppose what I'm trying to say is I'm still first in line
for the fan club,
I still refer to you as my bub,
and I still have our kung fu panda movie stub.
Just so you know.
Just so you know.
Just so you know...

Miles may teach and I may try and reach
and I could try and impeach every person and obstacle
that gets in my way from day to day to hear me say
and hear my cry oh why oh why oh why does this happen to I
with my hands thrown up to the sky and tears falling down to the earth
to the dirt not quoting anyone but my own self my own words
and feelings as I stare to the ceiling and stutter

th th th there's words that run deeper than the oceans,
there's skies that could be painted by young hands,
I try and celebrate remembering
and I try to remember who I am.
Because I can't forget
the first time I saw your eyes;
for I could not picture my own reflection not being in them.
The last time we said goodbye I said see you later because later nears with every tomorrow
and sorrow is the last thing that should bring two people together
so no matter the weather, the seasons, the reasons
you should know...
just so you know...
I think of you too.