146. Book number three

Happy Sunday.

I am a night owl, or an early bird if you prefer to give me the benefit of the doubt. In any case I am wide awake at 1:00 AM and I am hoping that some rambles will release the last bit of energy stored up inside of me for this day and I can make my entrance to sleep.

Two books down and two to go from my list of summer reads. I'm fairly confident that this one I'm beginning now will be a quick read. Many people have told me how much they love this book and how much they learned from reading it. I'll keep you updated.

Almost seven weeks ago I wrote a blog about what I had learned in a matter of 35 days. It was a collection of thoughts that weren't specified [for good reason] although they held passion for my eyes, my heart, and my mind. I re-read it this morning for the first time in seven weeks. I don't usually read my works much after they are produced. I also feel like they have more meaning the longer I wait to re-read them. Old feelings come about and memories (good or bad) are rekindled and I smile regardless of how the situation of writing happened. Seven weeks is a long time. But seven weeks is minuscule compared to the trek that lies in front of me. Does it change my ideas about what I wrote? Not in the slightest. For it brought tears to my eyes the first time I wrote it, the first time I read it, and this morning...on my re-read. Water jewels escaped the eyes and I once again was reminded of why I thank the Lord each and every morning and pray to him each and every night. I have been blessed. I once wrote an old friend about a dilemma that I had been dealing with my freshman year of college. I felt as though I was at a crossroads in my life and had been quite confident that the path I was leading myself down ever so cautiously was truly going to be the right one in the very end. Did I know that for a fact? -No. Do I know it for a fact now? -No. However...I told her that "I believe that these happenings were blessings in disguise". She wrote me back a long thoughtful message as always and at the very end she wrote " oh yea. I don't think there's a such thing as a blessing in disguise. I think all blessings stare us right in the face. We just choose to look the other way". If that isn't something to think about then I've been wrong for a long long time. That is a beautiful piece of written words. It makes perfect sense. At the time...almost three years ago now...I did not know what she was speaking of in the slightest. Now...now I know exactly what that means. This path that I'm on; these things and ideas and happenings that I am experiencing have never once been hidden from me. I can see the light. Even in the darkest room...I am able to produce a light that can be seen by my eyes and the eyes of the ones who stare at it the hardest - my realist of family and friends. Everything has always been within my sight. Yet as a child of America I have the utmost freedom to be able to make decisions to where no one can tell me no. So when I believe that the world has dealt me a bad hand of cards and go and try and curse the day...I must step back and laugh at my own insides...for I can be whatever I want to be. I can go wherever I want to go. I can love whomever I feel the love for.


So with all that being said...I am blessed. I will end this much as I began it seven weeks ago to date in a writing piece much like this with a few changes..


I am alive.


Within the next week my entire world will be once again flipped upside down. And yet...I'm looking forward to it just like any other week. I will greet the mornings with a smile and a remembrance. I'm not quite sure how to handle 365 days a year. Every new years I wonder what will happen. This past one was absolutely no different. Little did I know that something was about to change my existence forever. Fate has a funny way of bringing people and things and activities and memories together like nobody's business. If there was a professional team for random wonderful happenings....I would most definitely want fate to choose me first. Guess what....this time he did. He wanted me on board and I hopped on. So I'm still not sure what happens in 365 days....but I know that in just about 3 months of them...I have been floating on a cloud higher than anyone else.