156. It all comes back around.

I thought I believed in karma. Then I thought I believed in karma to a certain extent. I'm furthering away from believing in karma; however. Almost because I can't quite see it. I haven't been able to see it in years. There's no sense waiting around for that type of thing anyway. Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. With that said, I have some living to do peopleeee.


I'm sick of writing emo blogs. I'm the moment, folks.

My room is green which makes me feel like I am embraced by my favorite color every single day until I leave my cave once again. It makes my father feel like he never wants to paint again...and it makes Taylor feel like she's in the inside of a grape. Wouldn't that be fun? Maybe I'll make paint a new fashion statement since it doesn't quite seem to know how to rub off in the shower. Eh no biggie, I'll just go grab some shoes to match it. ;)


Music is helping me through my days. Victor introduced me to a man named David Gray. This musician is incredibly talented. Missy Higgins, Metro Station, Rob Blackledge, David Ryan Harris and Niia have also been on repeat lately. I'm a huge fan of repeating songs. If you are with me...and I find a song that I enjoy, don't be surprised if I hit the repeat button about 6 or 7 times. Good music is meant to be played over and over. I don't think I wear songs out...I believe I let songs take me away. They are part of the healing process. No matter the hurt, they aren't going anywhere...not until I feel better.







I recently looked at myself in the mirror...trying to empower myself to raise my heart and understand that I am not supposed to.."get" everything. By get I mean understand, comprehend, verify. Going with the flow never felt so -brick wall like- if you will. I think as these days pass I'm finally understanding why I'm not supposed to reason with all that happens in my path. I can only do so much. My path moves every which way and although I have gotten quite good at navigation throughout the years, some boulders never seem to go back to being pebbles. I will never again say that the good man lost the fight. The good man merely stayed...the good man. And the other...lost the good man. Nothing more to say...because that's as close to the raw truth as anyone will ever get. I will continue on this trek to be the best me I can be. Bring it on boulders. I'm ready to use you as skipping stones.


How's that for self empowerment..



Until next time...






and blessings. =]